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NOTES: -- Unpublished Humorous and Satirical Papers of dignity" he exhibited himself to the world-
power of appreciating and applying wit and wag-
anyone, I think, would give him credit.
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it found patronage among men of higher standing
Notes on Books, &c.
supported, what appears to have been a mere
University. We must suppose that, somehow
A Happy New Year to every kind Contributor, gentle
of a higher character. Dons as well as under-
water by this contemptible dispute. Some of the
leaders of the dissentients even went the length
of threatening to follow an example which had
new college at Stamford.
Occupying an eminent station in the University,
share in the dispute; and we know that he was not
a man to do anything otherwise than energetically.
Whatever he did or said, we may be sure that on
such an occasion he took the side of authority;
but we have no information on the subject, until
the proposal was made to dismember the Univer-
sity. Aroused by a suggestion, which was either
absurd or of weighty moment, he determined to
crush it at once by overwhelming it with ridicule.
any documents respecting it printed in the edi- malice. Therefore he resolved to build it in no Univer
Not in any, for tion of his Works published in the Library of sity, but very near one famous one. Anglo-Catholic Theology ; but there exist, among
such a place cannot bear their folly; not far off, for no
other place so liable to discover and publish their worth. the State Papers in the Public Record Office, I could tell you much more, but it is not good manners in placed at the end of the year 1613, various papers, the Epistle to prevent the tract. If you will not take mostly in Laud's handwriting, which clearly in- the pains to walk about this College, you shall be ignordicate the nature of his contemplated publication. ant of their building. If not to read their orders and None of them are probably quite finished ; but
statutes, you shall not know their privileges. If not to all are, more or less, advanced towards comple- stranger in all places, and not well acquainted in your
be acquainted with some of the students, you shall be a tion. Why the intended pamphlet, or whatever own country. One counsel let me give you: whenever it was to have been, was laid aside, does not ap- you visit the place, stay not long in it ; * for the air is pear. The Gothamite scheme may have died bad, and all the students very rheumatic. I have heard
that Lady Prudence Wisdom went but once (then she away, and it was not deemed advisable to stir its
was masked and muffled, and yet she escaped not the decaying embers; or Laud's execution of his de- toothache.) to see it since it was built
, and myself heard sign, after much touching and retouching (of her swear she would never come within the gates again. which the papers before us present ample evi- You think the Author of this Work (who for the founder's dence), may not have pleased him. These manu
honour, and the students' virtues, hath taken on him to scripts remain — mere wrecks and ruins ; but
map out this building) must depart from the truth of the
history. Reader, it needs not. For there is more to be there is enough in them to indicate clearly the
said of these men, in truth and story, than any pen can author's purpose, and to demonstrate, unless I set out to the world. Ilis pen is weak, and mine too; very much mistake their character, that he pos- but who cannot defend Innocents? Farewell
. The founder sessed no mean power of making sport. He dealt laughed heartily when he built the College: if thou canst with the subject before him in his naturally sharp, dwell a little too near the College that I am so skilful in
laugh at nothing in it, borrow a spleen. You know I but also in a frolicsome and witty manner.
it, and have idle time to spend about it. But it's no The first of these papers--an “Epistle to the
What if I were chosen Fellow of the house Reader,” designed as a preface to the intended As the world goes, I had rather be rich at Goi ham than work—seems to be all but complete. I shall give poor in a better place. You know where I dwell. Come it you as it stands. It will be found to be quaint the College hang not over me, and I will show you as
to see me at any time when it is safe, that the Ears † of and old-fashioned, but not without touches of
many Fellows of this Society highly preferred as of any effective pleasantry.
other. I know you long to hear; but you shall come to
my house for it, as near the College as it stands. There “ TO THE READER.
you shall find me at my devotion for Benefactors to this “ Come, Reader, let's be merry! I have a tale to tell:
worthy foundation,” I would it were worth the hearing, but take it as it is.
This “ Epistle to the Reader" is followed by There's a great complaint made against this age, that no good works are done in it. Sure I hear Slander hath a
variety of rough notes, scattered over seventeen tongue, and it is a woman's bird never born mute.
for leaves, many of which contain only a sentence not long since (besides many other things of worth) there or two. They were apparently intended to be was built in the air a very famous college, the SEMINARY worked up into the designed work. OF INNOCENTS, commonly called in the mother tongue of We next have a Latin Charter of Liberties, that place, Gotam COLLEGE. I do not think, in these supposed to have been granted to the College by greater either profit or magnificence. The founder got the Emperor of Morea. There are among the up into a tree (and borrowed a rook's nest for his cushion) papers two drafts of this charter. In one, the to see the plot of the building, and the foundation laid. He Emperor's name is given as Midas. They are resolved to build it in the air to save charges, because both framed as if granted to the founder, who was castles are built there of lighter materials. It is not to be spoken how much he saved in the very carriage of
at first designated as “ Thomas White, miles," but timber and stone by this politic device, which I do not
the “White" was subsequently struck out. Why doubt but founders in other places will imitate. Yet he the name of Sir Thomas White, the founder of would not bave it raised too high in the air, lest his Col- Reading School, where Laud was educated, and legians, which were to be heavy and earthy, should not of his beloved College of St. John's, was thus inget into it; and it is against all good building to need a ladder at the gate. The end of this building was as
troduced, I am unable to explain. charitable, as the ordering of it prudent; for whereas there
The draft of a Foundation Charter of the are many places in all commonwealths provided for the College then follows. It runs in the name of lame, and the sick, and the blind, and the poor of all “ Thomas à Cuniculis, miles auritus, patriæ Mosorts, there is none anywhere erected for innocents. This reanus." founder alone may glory that he is the first, and may prove the only patron of Fools. He was ever of opinion tions between them, of a paper entitled “ The
We next have two copies, but with vari
many that, upon the first finishing of his College, it would have more company in it than any one Coilege in any Univer- Foundation of Gotam College." This was the sity in Europe. Such height would be waited upon by author's principal effort. In his account of the rules and regulations of the college, he pours out
* Anima prudens in sicco.
† They are very long.
youth full of hope as those are (for stultorum plena sunt his store of Gothamite recollections, with such
omnia), should want places of preferment or education. fresh wit as he could make to tell against the
“ Maintenance. --Their mortmain is to hold as much as chief members of the party to whom he was
will be given them, without any stipt; which favour is
granted them in regard of their number (being the greatopposed. It is difficult occasionally to identify est foundation in Christendom), and at the instant rethe persons alluded to, but many of them will be quest of the honourable patroness the Lady Fortuna favet : easily recognised. The two brothers, Dr. Samp- provided always, that they hold no part of this their land, son and Dr. Daniel Price, together with Dr. or aught else, in capite, but as much as they will in Thomas James, the author of Bellum Papale, were
Knight's service, so they fit their cap and their coat
thereafter. clearly leaders in the suggestion which excited
“ Sociorum numerus.— The number of Fellows may not Laud's dislike. Upon them the vials of his wrath be under 500, and 200 probationers (if so many may be were consequently poured. All three were strong found fit); which it shall be lawful to choose out of any anti-Romanists. Antony Wood tells us that Dr. College in Oxford: Provided that when, if ever, there is Sampson Price was so distinguished in that re
any eminent man found in the other University of Camspect, that he acquired the name of “The Mawl bridge, or any other, it shall be lawful for them, which
after the founder shall be put in trust with the election, of Heretics,' meaning papists;" and that, both he to admit them in veros et perpetuos socios. and his brother, were regarded with especial dis- “ The statutes are appointed to be penned in brief, for like at Douay. Both brothers were royal chap- the help of their memory, which yet is better than the lains and popular preachers, and of the same way
wit of any of the Fellowships. [Memorandum. In making of thinking, — that way being in most respects their breath fuils.] There is leave granted they may re
of a speech, they must not stop at any time, but when nearly as far removed from Laud's way, as could
move · Cuckoo-bush,' and set it in some part of the Colco-exist within the pale of the Church of England. lege garden: and that in remembrance of their famous Dr. Thomas James, the well-known Bodley libra- predecessors they shall breed a Cuckoo every year, and rian, was a man of precisely the same anti-Ro- keep him in a pound till he be hoarse; and then, in mid
summer moon, deliver him to the bush and let him at manist views as the Prices, but probably of far
liberty. greater learning than either of them. All these
“ Because few of these men have wit enough to grieve, had no doubt, like other men, their vanities and they shall have "Gaudyes every holyday and every peculiarities; and it is upon these foibles that Thursday through the year; and their · Gaudyes’ shall Laud seizes and applies them to the purposes of be served up in woodcocks, gulls, curs, pouts, geese, gan
ders, and all such other fowl, which shall be brought at a his ridicule. Thus, we learn that James was
certain rate in ass-loads to furnish the College. But on highly pleased with his dignity of Justice of other days which are not . Gaudyes,' they shall have all Peace, whence Laud styles him Mr. Justice their commons in calf's head and bacon, † and, thereJames, and appoints him library keeper of the fore, to this purpose all the beef, mutton, and veal, shall new college. We learn also, that Dr. Sampson fish-days conger, cod's head, or drowned eel, with a piece
be cut out by their butcher into calves' lieads; and on Price enjoyed his nap at the sermons in St. Mary's, of cheese after it-of the same dairy with that cheese and that Dr. Daniel was fond of an anchovy toast, which their wise predecessors rolled down the hill, to and had a general liking (in which respect he was go to market before them. probably not singular, either at Oxford or else- Broths, caudles, pottage, and all such settle-brain, where,) for a good dinner. All these points come
absolutely forbidden. All other meats to be eaten assa.
“ Fasts. - They are to fast upon O Sapientia. The out in the following paper; which I print, with
solemn day of their foundation, Innocent's day. [Another one or two omissions, from one of the two manu- solemn feast day to be renewed, St. Dunstan's. ] scripts, adding here and there passages derived · Benefices. — Gotam annexed to the headsbip. The from the other.
other benefices belonging to the Fellows are Bloxam,
Duns-tu, Dunstable, St. Dunstan's (East, West), Totte“ THE FOUNDATION OF GOTAM COLLEGE. ridge, Aleton, Battlebridge, Gidding (Magna, Parva), the " The founder (being the Duke of Morea*) made suit prebend of Layton Buzzard, Little Brainford, Little Witand obtained leave for this foundation, that it might be
nam (Mr. Dunns being patron of Little Witnam, gave it erected, anno 1613. The reasons of his suit were: –
to a good scholar), a petition being made by the College “1. Because, in the midst of so many good works as
that Witnam, and all that Mr. Dunns had in his gift, had been done for the bringing up of men in learning,
should belong to the College. [Added in the margin there had been none taken in special for the Gotamists.
Cookeham (Nagna, Parva), Steeple bumstead, Üggly,
St. Asaphs.] “2. Because every College in the University had some “ An Act of Parliament held for them. or other of them in it, which were fitter to be elected
“ The College to be furnished with all munition save and chosen out to live together in this new foundation. head-pieces. None of the generations of Wisemen, Wise
“ 3. Because it is unfit that, in a well-goverred com- dom, or Wise, eligible into the house, for the disgrace their monwealth, such a great company of deserving men, or predecessdrs have done to the College. The book of WisThis is not consistent with the foundation charter
dom to be left out of their Bibles. To abjure Pythagoras, noticed before, and is an evidence that the author's
Tacitus, Tranquillus, and Prudentius. design was still unsettled. In the margin is written, * Diet. " Nepenthe potus." A fool at second course. “Sir Thomas Cuninsby, con-founder.” This is evi- Mustard with everything to purge the head. dently the “ Thomas & Cuniculis,” mentioned in the foundation charter.
† It being lawful for them, as well as the town's-boys, to eat bread and butter in the streets.