carrying me, as it were, in his hand, and lighting the way by the brightness of his countenance. During that period in which I considered my recovery as hardly probable, my mind was calm; and, while in review of the past I found many things to lament, and in contemplation of the future much to fear, but more to hope, I could find no other words in which to express my thoughts than the words of the publican, 'God be merciful to me a sinner!' All the small distinctions of sects and forms dwindled into air, thin air, and seemed to me even more worthless than The cares and anxieties of the world did not disturb me, believing it to be of small moment whether I should be taken now or spared a few years longer. With returning health and strength, different prospects open, and different feelings take the place of those which were then so appropriate; and the social feelings and sympathies have their full share in their hold upon

ever.

"I have been constantly gaining since my last to you, and with constant care, hope to acquire my usual health. I am, however, admonished, by the two attacks I have experienced within a month, that the continuance of my life for any considerable period will be very likely to depend upon a rigid prudence in my labor and living. The recovery from this last sickness is almost like being restored to life; and I hope the span that may be allowed me may be employed in better service than any period of my past life. We are placed here to be disciplined for another and higher state; and whatever happens to us makes a part of this discipline. In this view, we ought never to murmur, but to

consider, when ills befall us, how we can make them subserve our highest good. What I am more desirous than anything else for you is, that you may feel that you are accountable for all your talents, and that you may so use them as to have an approving conscience, and the final recompense of a faithful servant at last. The period of trial is short; but the consequences are neverending. How important to each individual, then,—to you and to me, that we use aright the period assigned us!

CHAPTER XV.

JOURNEY TO NEW HAMPSHIRE. — LETTERS. - RESIGNS OFFICE OF TRUSTEE AT HOSPITAL.

LETTERS.

A FEW days after the date of the preceding letter, a change was thought desirable for the improvement of Mr. Lawrence's health; and he accordingly, with Mrs. L., went to Portsmouth, New Hampshire, and remained a week with his friend and brother-in-law, the late Hon. Jeremiah Mason. From thence he proceeded to visit friends in Amherst, New Hampshire, where he was attacked by a severe rheumatic fever, which confined him for several weeks; and it was with great difficulty that he succeeded in reaching home about the 20th of September, after an absence of nearly two months. On the 27th of September, he writes to his son:

"It is only within a few days that I have been able to be removed to my own house. I am now able to walk my chamber, and sit up half the day; and, by the best care in the world, I have a fair hope of again enjoying so much health as to feel that I may yet be of some use in the world. My bodily sufferings have been great during this last sickness; but my mind in

general has been quiet. I seem to want nothing which this world can give to make me an enviably happy man, but your presence and a return of my health; but these last are wisely withheld. We are apt, in the abundance of the gift, to lose the recollection whence it came, and feel that by our own power we can go forward. Happy for us that we are thus made to feel that all we have is from God; this recurrence to the Source of all our blessings makes us better men. I do not expect to be able to leave the house before the next spring; and, in the mean time, must be subject to the casualties incident to a person in my situation."

On October 29, Mr. Lawrence, in a letter to the same son, expresses his gratitude for the enjoyment of life, even in a sick chamber, as mine must be termed."

66

"I receive my friends here, and once only have walked abroad for a few minutes. I drive in a carriage every pleasant day, and I can truly say that my days pass in the full enjoyment of more than the average of comfort. My mind is as easy as it ever is, and as active as is safe for the body. I employed myself yesterday in looking over your letters since you left home three years ago, and was reminded by them that the fourth year of your absence has just commenced. Although a brief space since it is passed, an equal time, if we look forward, appears to be far distant. The question you will naturally ask yourself is, How has the time been spent? and from the answer you may gather much instruction for the future. If you have made the best use of this period, happy is it for you, as the habit of the useful application of your time will make its continuance more natural and easy.

making good, hy

In short, we can

If you have misused and abused your opportunities, there is not a moment to be lost in retracing your steps, and future effort, what has been lost by want of it. none of us know that a future will be allowed us to amend and to correct our previous misdoings and omissions; and it is not less the part of wisdom than of duty to be always up and doing, that whenever our Master comes we may be ready. I never was made so sensible before of the power of the mind over the body. It is a matter of surprise to some of my friends, who have known my constant habits of business for a quarter of a century, that I can find so much comfort and quiet in the confinement of my house, when I feel so well, and there are so many calls for my labors abroad. I hope to pursue such a discreet course as shall allow me to come forth in the spring with my poor frame so far renovated and restored as to enable me to take my place among the active laborers of the day, and do what little I may for the advancement and well-being of my generation. If, however, I should, by any accident or exposure, be again brought to a bed of pain and suffering, may God grant me a patient and submissivé temper to bear whatever may be put upon me, with a full conviction that such chastisements will tend to my good, if I make a right use of them!

The first of January, 1832, found Mr. Lawrence confined to his sick room, and unable, from bodily weakness, to drive out in the open air, as he had hitherto done. He writes to his son :

"I am reminded, by the new year, that another portion of time has passed, by which we are accustomed to measure in prospect the space that is allotted us here; and the reflections at