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Edinburgh magazine

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18

VERY HARD CASH.

invalid must be. plied by a smile. And so they settled who this petulant you

way. There, it is no use," observed one, sotto voice, "the bloke real tongue." has awful headaches, like a girl, and then he always shuts up th You will only rile him, and get the rough side of 1

Here, then, the conference drew toward a close, But a Wadha man, who was one of the embassadors, interposed. "Stop a minute said he. "Mr. Hardie, I have not the honor to be acquainted wit you, and I am not here to annoy you, nor to be affronted by you postulates through us; through me if you like." But the University has a stake in this race, and the University ex

sudden and vast. "Who have I the honor," inquired Hardie, assuming politenes

"Badham, of Wadham."

"Badham o' Wadham! Here that, ye tuneful nine! Well Bad ham o' Wadham, you are no acquaintance of mine; so you may follow my logic. possibly not be a fool. Let us assume by way of hypothesis that you are a man of sense, a man of reason as well as of rhyme. Then

"Hardie of Exeter is a good man in a boat when he has not got

a headache.

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When he has got a headache, Hardie of Exeter is not worth a

straw in a boat.

"Hardie of Exeter has a headache now.

headache and all, and reduce defeat to a certainty. "Ergo, the university would put the said Hardie into a race,

"And, ergo, on the same premises, I, not being an egotist, nor an as I should have done any other cripple. ass, have taken Hardie of Exeter and his headache out of the boat,

"Secondly, I have put the best man on the river into this cripple's

place.

"Total, I have given the university the benefit of my brains; and the university, not having brains enough to see what it gains by the exchange, turns again and rends me, like an animal frequently mentioned in Scripture; but, nota bene, never once with approba

tion.

"

failed signally; and groaned instead. And the afflicted Rhetorician attempted a diabolical grin, but

"Is this your answer to the university, sir?"

valid sat up all in a moment, like a poked lion. At this query, delivered in a somewhat threatening tone, the in

"Oh, if Badham o' Wadham thinks to crush me auctoritate suâ et totius universitatis, Badham o' Wadham may just tell the whole university to go and be d-d, from the Chancellor down to the junior cook at Skimmery Hall, with my compliments.

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39

"Ill-conditioned brute!" muttered Badham of Wadham. "Serve you right if the university were to chuck you into the Thames.' And with this comment they left him to his ill-temper. One retekens calm. ained; sat quietly down a little way off, struck a sweetly aromatic ucifer, and blew a noisome cloud; but the only one which be

As for Hardie he held his aching head over his knees, absorbed in

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