for me to say so) that you do everything in such a manner as to please the parishioners, and make the temple prosperous.

Curate.—Pray feel no uneasiness [on that head]! I will do things in such a way as to please the parishioners right well.

Rector.-Well, then, I retire without further delay. So, if there should be anything you want to ask, come and call me.

Curate. Your commands are laid to heart.

Rector. And if any parishioner should call, please to let me know.

Curate. Your injunctions shall be kept in mind.-Ha! ha! this is delightful! To think of the joy of his ceding the benefice to me to-day, just as I was saying to myself, "When will the rector resign in my favour? when will he resign in my favour?" The parishioners, when they hear of it, are sure to be charmed; so I mean to manage in such a way as to give them all satisfaction.

First Parishioner.-I am a resident in this neighbourhood. I am on my way to a certain place on business; but, as it has suddenly begun to threaten rain, I think I will look in at the parish-temple, and borrow an umbrella. Ah! here it is! Hoy! admittance!

Curate.-Oh! there is some one hallooing at the gate! Who is that asking for admittance? Who is that hallooing? First Par.-It is I.

Curate.-Oh! you are indeed welcome!

First Par.-It is long since I last had the honour of coming to inquire after you; but I trust that the worthy rector and yourself are still in the enjoyment of good health.

Curate. Oh yes! we both continue well. But I must tell you that, moved by some impulse or other, my master has deigned to resign the benefice in my favour. So I pray that you will continue as heretofore to honour our temple with your visits.

First Par.-That is an auspicious event; and if I have not been [before] to offer my congratulations, it is because I was not apprised of it. Well! my present reason for calling is just simply this: I am off to-day to a certain place; but as it has suddenly begun to threaten rain, I should feel much obliged if you would kindly condescend to lend me an umbrella.

Curate. Certainly Nothing easier!

I will have the honour to lend it to you. Please wait here an instant.

First Par.-Oh! very many thanks.

Curate. Here, then! I will have the honour to lend you this one.

First Par.-Oh! I owe you very many thanks.

Curate. Please always tell me if there is anything of any kind that I can do for you.

First Par.-Certainly! I will call in your assistance. [But] now I will be off.

First Par.-Ah! well! that is all right! I will hasten on. Curate. As he said I was to let him know if any of the parishioners came, I will go and tell him what has passed. Pray! are you in?

Rector.-Oh! that is you!

Curate.-How dull your reverence must be feeling!
Rector.-No, I am not dull.

Curate.-Somebody has just been here.

Rector.-Did he come to worship, or was it that he had business with us?

Curate. He came to borrow an umbrella; so I lent him

one.

Rector.-Quite right of you to lend it. But tell me, which umbrella did you lend?

Curate.-I lent the one that came home new the other

day.

Rector. What a thoughtless fellow you are! Would anybody ever dream of lending an umbrella like that one, that had not even been once used yet? The case will present itself again. When you do not want to lend it, you

can make an excuse.

Curate.-How would you say ?

Rector. You should say: "The request with which you honour me is a slight one. But a day or two ago my master went out with it, and meeting with a gust of wind at a place where four roads met, the ribs flew off on one side, and the skin on another. So we have tied both skin and ribs by the middle, and hung them up to the ceiling. This being so it would hardly be able to answer your purpose." Something like that, something with an air of truth about it, is what you should say.

Curate.-Your injunctions shall be kept in mind, and I will make that answer another time.-Now I will be going. Rector.-Are you off?

Curate. -Yes.

Rector. Curate.

} Good-bye! good-bye!

Curate.-What can this mean? Let my master say what he likes, it does seem strange to refuse to lend a thing when you have it by you.

Second Parishioner.-I am a resident in this neighbourhood. As I am going on a long journey to-day, I mean to go to the parish-temple and borrow a horse.-I will go quickly. Ah! here it is! Hoy! admittance !

Curate.-There is some one hallooing at the gate again! Who is that asking for admittance? Who is that hallooing? Second Par.-It is I.

Curate.-Oh! you are indeed most welcome!

Second Par.-My present reason for calling is just simply this: I am off to-day on a long journey, and (though it is a

N

bold request to make) I should feel much obliged if you would condescend to lend me a horse.

Curate. Nothing could be slighter than the request with which you honour me. But a day or two ago my master went out with it, and meeting with a gust of wind at a place where four roads met, the ribs flew off on one side, and the skin on another. So we have tied both skin and ribs by the middle, and hung them up to the ceiling. This being so it would hardly be able to answer your purpose.

Second Par.-Why! it is a horse that I am asking for! Curate. Yes, certainly! a horse.

Second Par.-Oh well! then there is no help for it. I will be off.

Curate. Are you going?

Second Par.-Yes. Good-bye!

Curate.-Good-bye! Thanks for your visit.

Second Par.-Well! I never! He says things that I

cannot in the least make out.

Curate. I spoke as my master had instructed me; so doubtless he will be pleased. Pray! Are you in?

Rector.-Oh! that is you! Is it on business that you

come?

Curate. Somebody has just been here to borrow our horse.

Rector. And you lent him, as he fortunately happened to be disengaged?

Curate.-Oh no! I did not lend it, but replied in the manner you had taught me.

Rector.-What! I do not remember saying anything about the horse! What was it you answered?

Curate. I said that you had been out with it a day or two ago, and that, meeting with a gust of wind at a place where four roads met, the ribs had flown off on one side, and the skin on the other, which being the case, it would hardly be able to answer his purpose.

Rector.-What do you mean? It was if they came to ask

[But]

for an umbrella that I told you to reply like that! would anybody ever dream of saying such a thing to a person who should come to borrow a horse? Another time, when you do not want to lend it, you can make a [fitting] excuse. Curate. How would you say?

Rector. You should say: "We lately turned him out to grass; and, becoming frolicsome, he dislocated his thigh, and is lying down covered with straw in a corner of the stable. This being so, he will hardly be able to answer your purpose." Something like that, something with an air of truth about it, is what you should say.

Curate. Your injunctions shall be kept in mind, and I. will make use of them next time.

Rector.-Be sure you do not say something stupid!

Curate. What can this mean? To say a thing because he tells me to say it, and then, forsooth, to get a scolding for it! For all I am now my own master, I see no way out of these perplexities.

Third Parishioner.-I am a resident in this neighbourhood, and am on my way to the parish-temple, where I have some business. Well, I will make haste. Ah! here I am! Hoy! admittance!

Curate. There is some one hallooing at the gate again! Who is that asking for admittance? Who is that hallooing? Third Par.-It is I.

Curate.-Oh! a hearty welcome to you!

Third Par.-It is long since I last had the honour of coming to inquire after you; but I trust that the worthy rector and yourself are still in the enjoyment of good health.

Curate. Oh yes! we both continue well. But by the way, my master, moved by some impulse or other, has deigned to resign the benefice in my favour. So I pray that you will continue to honour our temple with your visits.

Third Par.—That is an auspicious event; and if I have not been already to offer my congratulations, it is because I was not apprised of it. To-morrow being a religious anniver