THE BOTTLE OF WHISKY. "Truth," it is said, "lies at the bottom of a well." I think it rather lies at the bottom of a bottle of whisky. "He must drink no wine who would know the thoughts of others, or hide his own. But why preach to thee who hast a thirst as eternal as a sandbank in Arabia? fare thee well."-Quentin Durward. ARD by the road at Seggie Hill, HARI A house was biggin'-near the still, On stanes an' Time; And Jamie Spence, wha loved a gill, At breakfast hour, a pawky chiel' Rab for his cousin's drouth could feel, Rab, bein' the cooper at the still, Then snooved the dorby up the hill Close by the lime, anang the sand, Syne frae its hidin'-place, trepanned He clapped it carefu' in his pail This time, i' faith! he was nae snail In truth, that day the lime did sail At dinner-time, our drouthy frien' He cursed like mad! And thus, wi' vengeance in his een, "Which thief an' rogue has been sae base Whaever did it,-quick-replace On being tauld how matters stood, E'en Jamie lisped an' swore "It would And faith! it did speak, ere 'twas lang. Till he could neither stand nor gang, His service missed, they looked around, Soon tauld its tale, "Truth will come to light, murder cannot be hid long, A man's son may; but, in the end, truth will out."-Shakespeare. THE BLACK CLOAK. "The love of dress, quite to excess Is carried in our day We must be fine, though ne'er a coin We have to pay our way. The finest skin is mostly seen On creatures the most dire, Their vileness lies concealed from eyes,- But, touch them-and expire. And dress first came to cover shame A sore and sorry sign Of man's sad fall-his ruin's pall, And not a mark Divine !"--People's Journal. "How often have I told thee, when thou wert at the gayest and the lightest, that pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall? Vanity brought folly, and folly brought sin, and sin hath brought death, his original companion."-John Christie, in "The Fortunes of Nigel." NCE, in a town,-not very far from this, ONCE A careful man led home a blooming Miss,--- And then," quoth she, with face quite red with passion, Cut short her vain, her brief, self-troubled hour; I have penned the above fragment as I believe the domestic felicity of many a fireside is invaded and poisoned by an over punctilio in regard to housecleaning matters, and a frivolous vanity and an excessive pride in regard to dress, thereby keeping a husband in continual hot water; while more substantial and important matrimonial interests are allowed to wither and die by this constant watering of nettles in a tea-pot. Robert Burns says truly in his "Twa Dogs" : "Human bodies are sic fools, For a their colleges an' schools, Of course there is no intention to undervalue cleanliness, nor a becoming care and attention to dress, far from it; but anything so overdone is from the purposes both of marriage and life. "Why should a man whose blood is warm within, Sit like his grandsire cut in alabaster? A BARBER'S EPITAPH. HERE lies the body of barber John, Bacon, I think, says "Laws are like cobwebs, the weak are caught, the strong break through and escape." The sleeve of this truism may be seen even in our Sheriff Courts, where the most subtle, or brazen-faced generally come off victorious; and where oaths are swallowed with as little compunction as Luckie Simpson's cow had when she swallowed up Luckie Jamieson's browst of ale; but, in case this may not be understood, I may state, that in "Redgauntlet" Sir Walter Scott says it was decided in a case before the town bailies of Coupar-Angus, when Luckie Simpson's cow had drunk up Luckie Jamieson's browst of ale, while it stood at the door to cool, that there was no damage to pay, because the crummie drank without sitting down; such being the very circumstance constituting Doch-an-dorrach, which is a standing drink, for which no reckoning is paid." So likewise, if an account (however just) lies over three years, it is "proscribed," and if the debtor will only have the sang froid to stand up like Luckie Simpson's crummie, and swallow the statutory oath, he or she receives a sort of mental Doch-an-dorrach, and is rid of the debt altogether. Yet, as Shakespeare says, "If they have defeated the law, and outrun native punishment, though they can outstrip men, they have no wings to fly from God." Therefore as he also says in the first part of Henry IV. "Tell truth and shame the devil, If thou have power to raise him, bring him hither, THE HE court day has come, the Sheriff so glum Blockheads who come there at all- The knave who talks best, contented may rest, The asses who stare, and seek justice there, As well, faith! expect policemen detect Or husband bemoan a drunken wife's groan, Who parts with all that will sell, And beggars his home-for whisky, would roam The cases he calls-the officer bawls, A tradesman stands there with bitch of a Fair, He sues her for cash-the blockhead so rash! The debt is "proscribed," blind Justice is bribed, |