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Having finished her tea, the buxom Dame Kuo
Made a sign to her maids she was ready to go.

Then she rose from the table, declared she had

done ;

She would stroll round the fair now, and look at the

fun.

Depositing a douceur in the Abbot's willing hand,
She said, in words the old priest couldn't fail to
understand:-

"When the fair is finished, you must come and hunt

us up;

You'll always find a welcome, and a bed, a plate, and cup."

Dame Kuo made her way through the thick of the fair,

And old as she was, not a young lady there

Enjoyed herself more, or felt greater delight,

Than she did at every queer sound or strange sight.

Buying and selling,

Screaming and yelling ;

By your leave! Stand aside! Can't you see where you're going?"

Roaring and shouting,

Ranting and spouting,

Cymbal banging, flute squeaking, and long-trumpet

blowing.

Gonging and drumming,

Fiddling and strumming,

Interspersed with a good deal of squalling and bawling. Hawking and talking;

The girl slack-rope walking—

"How nicely she does it!"—Ai, ya! she is falling!"

Cursing and swearing,
Peeping and staring;—

"This, ma'am, is the stall, if you want a nice fairing. Here are all sorts of toys,

For good little boys,

Red-string, flowers, and knicknacks, for young ladies' wearing.

"Here are mouth-pieces made

From the purest of jade,

And pipes that will make bad tobacco smoke pleasant.
Thimbles, scissors, and knives,

For industrious wives ;

Make a choice from my wares-there's no time like the present."

Losing and winning,

Laughing and grinning,

Humming-top spinning;-on dry land boats rowing;

Horses a-neighing,

Donkeys a-braying,

Begging priests praying;-stilt-walking, stone-throwing.

Whirligging and swinging,

Story-telling, bell-ringing.

A drummer is singing, at the same time is plying
Three sticks; two he beats with,

And performs sundry feats with;

While the third one in mid-air is constantly flying.

Snuffing and smoking,

Jesting and joking,

Or saying smart things, which set people laughing.
Bear-dancing; folks rushing,

And each other crushing,

To hear merry-andrews their audience chaffing.

What a hubbub and din;

"Just going to begin!"

What changing of money! what taking and giving!
At the door people paying;

Within, actors playing:

And puppets which look just as if they were living.

Clod-hoppers swarming

To see rats performing,

Or peep-shows, with gay scenes which constantly vary. "For three cash may be seen

A girl-aged sixteen,

With the legs of a horse and the face of a fairy!"

* A whirligig-similar to those used in English fairs,

is called

"Umbrella Wheel."

Female tumblers-athletes,

Performing strange feats;

Quack doctors, rogues, thieves, and beggars, are nu

merous;

Some, pity exciting;

Some, squabbling and fighting:

Here are scenes of all sorts, grave, gay, sad, or humorous.

Dane Kuo having seen all the sights of the fair,
And drank as much tea as her stomach could bear ;-
Besides buying fairings for each of her maids,
Such as hair-pins and ear-rings, tags, tassels, and
braids,

Climbed into her cart and returned to Peking,

Well pleased with her trip to the fair at Hsi-ting.

INVERTED FACTS.

1ST MONTH.

In the first month we keep up the Dragon-Boat Feast ;* The sun, at this time, always sets in the east;

Temples are never built facing the south ;†

(How glibly a crammer slips out of one's mouth!)

A stout man is one with no flesh on his bones;
Singing is sighing commingled with groans.
Fasting and praying, or doing good deeds,

If indulged in, to all sorts of wickedness leads.

* This festival really occurs on the fifth day of the fifth month.

+ Exactly the reverse.

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